How to deal with anger and frustration (or not).

College life is not known for it's moments of pristine happiness and a profound sense of peace.  College itself has had little to offer me in the way of a sense of relief, rather the classes and all of their subsequent responsibilities have given me an unsettling feeling of constant and paranoid anxiety.  Also, due to my lack of success at the collegiate, or any other level I am experiencing oceans of insecurity.  its true , this momentary self doubt is damaging to my beautiful friday afternoon. but! nothing that some possitive thinking and a bike ride cant help. i realize that in my refelection i can only hold blame with myself. to change my effects i must change my actions. thus having a work ethic and disaplin that meets the standards of  full time hard working student. this goal is achievable ...it reallly is. i know this . but its hard for me to convince myself of this when such negative patterns come in play of constint failed attempts at mediocre work and lackidasical quality for authority get in my way.and result in this self pitty and lack of worth.How do you pick yourself up, if evrytime you do you just fall again? is this a question of my strength as a character, or am i just a 19 year old student trying to learn time managment for the first time and not yet really having a clue how to do it right. the deeper i go in this self reflection, the more i realize how in order to make things successful i have to kick my own butt. "put my big girl panties on" as my mom would say and gut up. no once holding my hand to stop me from falling. and im gunna keep falling if i dont help myself. that said. How do i help myself?... well im still working on that. its hard to want to help yourself when you dont value your worth. but i know its possible and i know its friday, and i know the things in my life that make me happy , and i know the things in my life that will make me succesful... so i know that im getting up after i fall.