Excuses.

Alot of times, I don't try to do certain things because I'm in college.  No, I can't consider starting that band yet, there's no time, or point, I'm in college and nothing will come of this music thing.
Drake was in school I think before he made it big.  I've heard a line in his song about dorms and school.  He was doing that other stuff while studying or whatever.  Asher Roth was also in college, except i think he graduated.  Kid Cudi is young too, don't know if he's hitting those books. 
I don't think Wayne ever made it into higher education; he sure is high though. 
I think I have too much on my plate with writing love letters to my boyfriend and keeping up with my photography assignments. 
Can I even consider a global empire of some sort at this age?  Apparently some people can. 
I think it really comes down to doing what you want to do and not underestimating your ability. 
I want to read books and write letters and remember how to put emotion into my voice.  Lately, there is only tension where there used to be something more.  I want to learn how to appreciate the feelings I have and document them adequately again.  Now, more than ever am I in a position to express myself and I feel like there are limits to my sensation.  It's time to cut inhibitions and release my inner self.  That takes a certain level of trust in those you're expressing yourself to, be it your photography class critiquing your piece, your leadership class taking your idea into consideration or your boyfriend reading the letter you poured your soul into. 
Also, take risks when deciding what to pursue in the way of hobbys  I think.  You never know what may strike your fancy. 

You are what you eat.

How are you supossed to eat healthy at Hein, I ask you.
Broccoli and Cheese soup that looks like they used velveeta for base, pizza that is the staple of everyone's diet here, I'm sure.  French toast bar for dinner, desserts that look wayyy better than the boring dinner line and cheeseburgers whose beef don't even really look USDA approved.  Surely not grass-fed organic beef; not that I'm trying to be persnickety, I just like to display some discretion when putting foods into my body.  Sure there's a salad bar, but it's the same everyday essentially.  I see alot of iceberg lettuce in there, and everyone knows iceberg lettuce has like no nutritional value. 
I just spent $1.80 something at Walmart the other day for a 12 pack of Ramen, I know that's going to show up in my thighs in the near future.  Plus, slacker major over here decided to over eat for lunch and dinner and besides sleeping through her Algebra class did nothing between those two meals.  I think this calls for a night run when I leave this library.  Sometime I feel really guilty about how I eat and think to myself, 'Why are you grabbing that slice of pizza? Can't you like eat tomatoes instead or something? Don't you know that you haven't worked out in like forever? That pizza is not helping to nourish your body so it can be in prime condition when you're sixty, lady.'  Eating healthy not only helps me to feel better and look better, it makes me better internally.  Leafy greens to support digestive tracts and boost energy and metabolism, water to purify, cleanse and hydrate, fruits for good sugars and other good stuff.  
If it's not the eating it's the exercise, though. 
I was an athlete of all kinds in highschool and those working out ways have stuck with me into college.  I don't work out every day or even every week sometimes, but I find my way into the world of sweat at least a couple times a semester.  Another one of my goals for the year was to run/exercise at least once everyday.  That hasn't happened...
I feel guilty about that too.  I owe it to myselft to do that for myself.  There were other things I could do every day that werent' that good for me, why can't I take a lap or two around the "track" once a day?
C'mon Ashley...

Procrastination and how I despise it but do it anyway.

Lately, I've been keeping on top of my homework. 
For the most part. 
You knew I was going to have to qualify that statement, didn't you?
Well I did. 
There is this desire to achieve higher levels of success, I just forget what the big picture is here sometimes.  The other problem is, when you're caught up and relaxed, it's easy to feel able to kick your feet up, pop a movie in and take those long naps you've been dreaming about.  Then, a couple days later you feel the reprecussions of such leisurely activities.  There must be continual work being done. 
Not to mention the literal work/ job thing in your life.  I'm fortunate that my job is done in the early morning and I get it out of the way first thing, but I'm having to adjust to that earlyness so, it's kind of shifting things around in my day a little bit.  I love mornings and have never really been the type to get up early but I'd like to be, this Humane Society thing is helping me get accustomed to it.  That's where I work, by the way, the Guadalupe County Humane Society.  A No-kill shelter and very hygenic, I'm enjoying it thus far.  I work in the cat sanctuary but consider myself more of a dog-person so that's the only bummer.  Plus, they told me if I'm late again they're gonna let me go.  I'm kind of a tardy person, it is my downfall; so them telling me this is kinda weighing on my mind.  I was actually late by like seven minutes these past two days but no one seemed to notice, BUT STILL; this has to stop.
Not just with the Humane Society but with classes and homework too.  I've been a bit behind on these blogs and keep circulating, 'don't forget to blog ___ times' but still have yet to complete ALL of the required ones.  Life is easier when you do things immediately.  I know this even from the few times I've managed to accomplish things early, leads to a longer life in the end I think.  And more relaxing weekends. 
I think I'm walking around with this false sense of safety or security about my grades right now. 
SCARY.
Maybe for Halloween I should be an F on my transcript or something.
I heard that you increase your chances of success if you write your goals down.  I bought a poster board for the specific pupose of identifying my goals, painting them on there and hanging that sucker up right above my desk. 
I just haven't found the time to do it.  What with all these naps I keep finding the time for, who has time to paint posterboards?
C'mon Ashley, get it together :/

Considering Community:

I've been thinking some about the Texas Lutheran University community lately and it hasn't necessarily been in a negative sense.  

Now, for those of you who may know me, this will come as somewhat of a shock.  I waltzed into this University with the intent of transferring if not at the end of my first year then surely, after sophomore year. 

See, I grew up in New Braunfels and being so close, thought I held an understanding for TLU, Seguin, and what both of those places stood for; what they were about.  I realize my preconcieved notions were valid, but did not represent the totality of communities.  I am also beginning to realize my own potential to become a leader within these two spheres following Ghandi's urge to "be the change we wish to see in the world; thanks to the information I have received over the year

My first year in higher education raised my awareness of many realities and exposed me to many thoughts and modes of thinking that sufficiently addled my brains, allowing my to think more clearly.  I laugh typing this thinking of how to my surprise, a year later I recall all those nonsensical concepts Profe, my Freshman Experience teacher offered us that first semester and how all those paradoxes he raved about are finally making sense.  

I think about the passages from a wide range of books from Plato to Comic books.   I recall lectures from Vrooman discussing topics such as Marxism, Feminism, Post-Colonialism and more.  I discovered that I took for granted a near neighbor or ours and developed a love for Mexico, it's Spirit and it's winding, tumultuous history.  I learned lessons wherever I could and paid attention to the vibrant world around me.  I have embarked on the path to consciousness and the conversations I shared with the students here facilitated by professors who are excited to be here surrounded with a sense of care and community.  

But as of late, I've been taking many things into consideration and I believe my mind is made up that I will be beginning and finishing my Undergraduate Degree at this fine establishment.  

 

This comes with a certain level of difficulty to say for many reasons and intricate windings of understanding; but it comes with a sigh of relief.  This decision allows me to begin the process of planning for the future and my goals seem a little more directly satisfying.  Now I can commit myself whole-heartedly to the place where I am and in serve a functional purpose here.  

I am very excited to see where this path will take me and look forward to the future with a hopeful eye.  

It's about more than just what's in your head.

Sure you can be smart, but if you can't get to class or are late all the time you won't get an A (or even a B for that matter).  It's best to set yourself up to where there aren't any actions exhibited over the course of the semester that could be damaging to your grade.
It seems obvious but people really struggle with things like this, myself included. 
Time management not only means giving yourself a limited amount of time within which to accomplish tasks but to remember all the tasks in the first place, and be able to prioritize the ones that must absolutely occur within a relatively short time frame (by today, this week, this month, before 1pm etc.)
Time management is also being able to say 'no, i can't afford to do that right now if i want to accomplish this, which is more important than that.'
When people say they're busy, they don't mean they have three three classes on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and two on Tuesday, Thursday with maybe a job; that's not busy anymore.  Part of college is gettign accustomed to going, going, going most all of the time.  College students are hassled more than any other demographic for their "partying" but i feel that, for the responsible part of them who can take care of their business one way or another, they're just enjoying what little time they can, when they can.  Maybe this is me being biased, but hey, i think we all do this in one way or another. 
Most people learned this lesson earlier on in say middle or high school.  Parents and social circles can be very directive of the studying habits individuals develop.  For the rest of us, we're stuck learning this vital skill in the midst of mind-blowing education; my first year was full of stressful surprises.  I'm trying to figure it all out and I'm getting a little better but we'll see if this temporary success rate will stand the test of time.  I'll let you know...

Rogue Spades: To  Call or Not To Call?

There have been enough cases of medical professionals nder the influence of mind alteing substances while at work to warrant the current debate: shoud we randomly and periodicaly drug-test our doctors?
Dr. Leape thinks so and supports, "We have a responsibility to identify problem doctors and bring them into treatment."
In the article, "Should physicians undergo random drug testing?", Jeffery Parks MD, explains that he understands there are conditions under which we don't want our doctors to practise on us, but, does not support the motion to drug test the docs.
Dr. Parks chooses to stand on the side of the doctors saying, "This totalitarian encroachment on what a man or woman chooses to do in his or her free time is rather disturbing."  Parks goes on to say that those who are operating under the influence are rarely under the radar; at some point it becomes obvious that you have a problem.  It is the responsibility of those around you to confront the issue head-on.
While Parks does not differentiate between casual and chance participation or heavy addiction, (excessive alcohol consumption included), he does make a strong case for those socially responsible individuals who choose to partake in such activities on their own time.
The question here is whether or not the law has the duty of picking up the slack the medical professionals have left by not dealing with the problem internally, before it became so widespread as to be a matter of public concern.
Parks would make the argument that, yes, "we have a responsibility to identify problem doctors and bring them into treatment" but we also have the responsibility of protecting these Americans' right to privacy that they still have the unalienable right to enjoy.
Just because we're too timid or cowardly to call a spade a spade ourselves, doesn't mean we need to involve the law, it's reprecussions or peoples' reputations.  This can all be handled in a more constructive, sensitive, private way; we should explore alternative processes to ensure we will not implement procedures that are ultimately more detrimental to the field of medicine than the behaviors discussed here.